Mmm Digestives.

I have the largest room in my house.  Bigger than my parents.  This makes it a sort of dumping grounds.  No room in the store room?  Put it in Katie's room.  No room in the other store room?  Put it under Katie's bed.  No room in the under stairs storage closet thing?  Put it in Katie's closet.  I try to be a good sport about it (minus one very angry incident that I would not like to rehash.  Jessie and Sara can tell you all about how mad and bratty I was though.), because I have a room big enough to house a small African village.

For nearly two years now, I've had a package of caramel "Digestives" sitting on my chest of drawers.  My sister, Anna, left them there one Christmas, and I always assumed they were some weird baking ingredient or something, and presumed she would eventually reclaim them.  I should know better, I've had a ten pound block of melting chocolate in my closet for two and a half years now.  So these "digestives" have just been sitting.  Untouched.  For years.

Flash back to my self discoveries post in which I went on a reading binge.  One of those books was a British book in which she ate "digestives".  Context led me to realize "digestives" are also known in the US as... cookies!!  I still didn't put it together until this morning, when I was lying in bed really hungry and too tired to go all the way upstairs for food.  Those strange "digestives" on my dresser are potentially delicious, albeit very old, cookies!

They're all gone now.  I ripped the strange packaging open in seconds and smerfed those bad boys in like ten minutes because I was so hungry and they were so weird- but the kind of weird that has you eating more to see if they're still weird.  I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I clearly have not changed at all since last school year.  No patience, no sense of restraint.  It's cool, it generally gets me into some wonderfully strange predicaments.  Now I'm off to clean all the "digestive" crumbs off my bed.  And by clean, I mean I'll eat the big ones and brush the rest off to the carpet.

P.S.  I'm not sure why I keep quoting "digestives," except that I'm so baffled that anyone would call a cookie a "digestive."

P.P.S. To Anna- I'm not sorry.  I would do it again.

Francesca.

GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE- WALMART HAS A SALE ON RAZORS.

BETTER... THEY'RE SELLING PINK RAZORS!

For only $30, we could buy Jorge a girlfriend!!!!!

Marina and I decided she would be named Francesca.  She and Jorge would be best friends/soul mates for ever and always.  They would smerf together all day, every day.  All in favor, mail us $1.  Then I'll bum $30 off my parents, and we'll be good to go!

Many things have happened since I've last blogged. Good and bad, but mainly just embarrassing. For example: 

• I managed to blow $1,000 in one week. Still hurts me when I think about it. At least it was on important things. Deposit & last month's rent on my apartment, sign up for a class, and buy some nice work clothes.
• Well I drove from Provo, UT to San Diego, CA in 2 hours less than usual. My average speed was... well let's just say I really wanted to get home and not be driving, and I may have exceeded the 80 mph speed limit...by a lot
• We created a new game where we dropped ice cream from the 3rd story in our apartment complex and caught it in our mouths at the ground floor 
• I found a younger version of my dad and went on a date with him. It was only a little awkward when I already knew everything about him -because i'm convinced that my dad built a time machine and did this to me as a joke- and kept accidentally calling him dad. It's fine though. I later realized that I left him with a six digit number.
• Met a guy named Mike Byrd, but somehow got it into my mind that his last name was Hawk and kept referring to him as Mike Hawk.
• Yesterday, I was at my BJJ class flirting it up with my instructor because he's funny and quite aesthetically pleasing. Left class feeling good about myself, right? Well that was before I full on ran into the door frame in front of some woman on the phone and then fell down the stairs. Yeah two different accidents in 2 minutes. I felt it was only appropriate to tweet this: #justfelldownthestairs; #hotstuffrightthurr. All I have to say is, "thug life". 
• Oh! I got someone to tap out by smothering them with my thighs! I was sparring with a friend, got her head between my thighs and choked her until she tapped. Needless to say, I now go by "thunder thighs".
• I found out that I indeed have somewhat of a phobia against dead birds. We found this out the hard way when I shuttered and then swerved out of the way just to avoid a dead bird. Any other animal is fine. I don't care, but birds. Biiirrrrdddsss *said with the utmost disgust.
• I went to the gym last night and saw a girl who looked like one of my friends that I haven't seen for a while, and awkwardly made eye contact 4 times. Turns out it wasn't her. She left the sauna pretty fast, but joke was on her, I followed her out. hahahaha
• I picked up my younger brother from boy scout camp and purposely addressed him by the wrong name, tricking him into thinking that I forgot his real name. hahah

Oh so many things have happened. Many more embarrassing things, but I won't blog about them. They'll just stay in my head forever, slowly killing me a little inside every time I think of them. Life is so amazing though! More to come!

Deuces 

The Bathroom.

Now of course it wasn't anything like this.
The monster was yellow.

Sometime this week, I realized that in the last nine weeks I've been working at this call center, every time I use the bathroom on the main level, I always go to the exact same stall.  Don't ask me why, I can't explain it.

When I noticed the tendency for the middle stall, I decided to smerf things up.  I went a different stall... and found some sketchy toilet paper on the handle.  So I went back to the safe, standard stall.

The next day, I tried to break routine again by going to a third stall.  Nothing was wrong with the toilet, but it felt all wrong. I actually felt claustrophobic, and became convinced that the stall was smaller than the usual stall.  Then I counted the number of tiles across the front of both stalls and compared- exactly the same.

That was when I realized I was standing in a public bathroom, staring at the floor in front of the stalls, silently counting the tiles with my feet.  And looking like a nutter.  Business like usual.

Self Discoveries.

This summer, I've taken up employment at a local call center.  During my long days of training, I came to several conclusions while I was supposed to be learning how to engage, be empathetic, and listen.  Yes, I recognize the irony in not listening to a lesson about listening.  But if I'm being honest, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on customer management- pretend to be interested and above all else, don't ever tell the customer he/she is an idiot.  Even if he/she is potentially the dumbest person I've ever smerfed with in my life.

But I digress.

The following are very important life lessons I will remember always.

1. Long nails give me the heeby jeebies.  Maybe it's because I played piano for a very long time, and the importance of having consistently short nails was ingrained to me in third grade when my piano teacher would not allow me to continue playing until I cut my nails, washed my hands, and was thoroughly lectured on the negative effects long nails have on performance.  One of my coworkers has freakishly long nails, and every time I see them, I shudder and all I can think of is the disturbing picture I saw in a Guinness world records book once of the longest nails in the world.  Am I alone here?  Long nails are the worst.  
2. I have very little patience.  We played twenty questions as a bonding experience one of my first days, and I was interested for the first three questions or so.  Then I lost all hope and spent the rest of the game calculating how much money I was being paid per minute to listen to my coworkers try to identify a taco in twenty questions or less, completely tuned out.  Which brings me to my next point.
3. I have a breaking point when it comes to learning new material, after which I am decidedly done.  I am unable to continue paying attention, and I zone out.  I quickly realized if I sat at the back of the room and leaned in to my cubicle, it looked like I was just following the lecture on my computer, and my instructor was not able to see anything I was doing.  That is how I read upwards of a dozen books in three weeks of training.
4. According to my instructor, adding "mundo" to the end of any word basically makes it Spanish.  True storymundo.

As a bonus, I found this on my second day.  What a great indicator of my time as an inbound phone technical specialist.  Smurf this, indeed.

Awwww, Yeah!

I'm back.  It's been a long month of non-posting, but I have about seven inspirational stories that might make for very rambly, very confusing blog posts.  One of them might make some actual sense.  Don't quote me on that.

Since it's bothering me that the text I've written doesn't extend to the bottom of the picture, I'm going to include my latest favorite joke to fill up room.

What do you call a fake noodle?
Impasta!

Cheers, y'all.  See you later this week!