BYU Addictive Substances

We take what we can get.  And we abuse it heavily.  At the moment, all of us have an incredibly unhealthy obsession with this song:

Skip to 1:59.  Trust me.

The effects are borderline inappropriate.  It's like Ecstasy, but you won't get kicked out of school for listening to it.  Musical Ecstasy.  Yes.

Join us...... It's fun..... You know you want to...... Live a little..... YOLO.

Festival of Colors: Not a Myth (Probably)

This weekend, Katie, Jessie, and I decided to attend the Festival of Colors, or Holi. For those of you not aware, this is a Hindu festival celebrating the beginning of spring (by throwing colorful chalk everywhere)...filled mostly with Mormons. Because everyone likes a good festival. Our adventure began right away, as getting to Spanish Fork, Utah turned out to be a lot harder than you'd think. (Incidentally, what makes the fork Spanish?) Our first thought was to take the bus. We duly trotted out to the front of the Wilkinson center, where the bus was due to arrive every hour. However, at about 4:02, we began to get nervous. Were we in the right place? Suddenly spotting a bus on the other side of the building, we sprinted over, leaping flowers and small children alike, only to discover that the bus was not free, and it was cheaper to drive after all.

When we finally arrived in the generally right area, we discovered that the event itself was difficult to find. We quickly resorted to following cars in which the passengers appeared to be wearing white (most attendees of the festival wore white). This went about as well as you'd expect it to. When we had just about given hope, we discovered a steady stream of people in white shirts heading in one direction, and people covered in chalk heading in the other. Excitedly, we parked the car and began to follow the masses of people.

Our enthusiasm could not be dampened by the many people who chose to throw chalk at us before we had reached the festival. In fact, we kind of enjoyed it. However, after we had been walking for quite a while, we began to doubt ourselves. Blisters started to form, time continued to pass, and there was still no festival in sight. When we asked a passing stranger how much farther we had to walk, he merely responded, "far as flip" (edited). Sounds scientific. We soon formed a theory. There was no Festival of Colors. The entire event consisted of people pelting us with chalk as we passed on the sidewalk. Just as we reached the approximately two mile mark, and began to seriously consider demanding that someone come and pick us up, the festival came into sight.
And that's why you should always wear comfortable shoes.

Before

Upon Arrival

After

Our Unofficial Moonlighting

So, as you have recently been informed, our fridge is not a fridge. Because of this problem, we don't use our "fridge" very often. Thus, things we do put in there usually get forgotten and abandoned to die a slow and painful death. This is the case with a half full bottle of Martinelli's Apple Sparkling Cider. It's been there since about the third week of fall semester. It's been about 4+ months. The discovery of it's existence led us to question whether or not it was safe to drink. It had, after all, been sitting, opened and unsealed, in a dark and cool place for many months.

So of course the only logical thing to do is consult google on effective procedures when attempting to ferment Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. Turns out, according to the internet, we have succeeded in making our own alcohol! Screw hoarding secret caffeine, come to our place for something even better that will really get the party smerfing. Or it may perhaps make you really sick and die. We're not really sure. Someone should donate their pet to us for animal testing.* We might even pay you for your time. But probably not. Don't count on it.

*Some side effects your pet may experience once you donate them to the cause may include: headaches, nausea, bloating, confusion, loss of sight in the left eye, abnormal dreams, weight loss, weight gain, decreased sexual desire or ability, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, nervousness, dry mouth, fever, chills, muscle aches, increased sweating, loss of appetite, runny nose, sore throat, weakness, yawning, or sudden death.