science is the worst.

last week in my physical science lab, we went over a sample question in which we discussed Einstein's theories of relativity and the six self-evident truths. in particular, we went over the principle of simultaneity.

the problem we were to puzzle over explained an argument between me and my non-gender friend. in this "real-life" situation, my friend is standing on a railcar that is traveling at 3/4 the speed of light. as i watch he/she/it pass by, lightning bolts strike BOTH the front and the back of the railcar.

now i'm supposed to figure out who saw how much lightning when and where and other such nonsense. here are the real questions. HOW is my friend just casually traveling on top of an open railcar at three quarters the speed of light. now i've been educated in idaho. i don't know much about science... but i'm pretty sure that the speed of light is REALLY FREAKING FAST!

second, WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED THAT MY FRIEND'S CABLE CAR WAS HIT BY LIGHTNING?! obviously the whole argument is moot, as my friend is DEAD now. if the absurdly unrealistic traveling speed didn't kill him/her/it, clearly the lightning would have.

i almost didn't answer the question. out of principle. but i couldn't bring myself to lose points on such an easy assignment. so instead, i left this:

the moral of the story is that science is whack. as is my friend, because he/she/lady gaga was clearly smerfed over by fate, and is probably dead.