Crazy One-Liners We Use to See Who is Listening

Sometimes we wonder if anyone's really paying attention when we're rambling. That would be embarrassing.... So we've come up with a solution to find out. Randomly include these crazy one-liners in normal conversation and see who catches the weirdness. Enjoy.

-I made out with him so passionately, I think I might be pregnant
-We had to dig a hole to hide the evidence.
-Then he told me I should probably go see the bishop, because that's just inappropriate.
-I ran away screaming.
-And there I was.... Handcuffed to a chicken...
-All my problems would be solved if I just had a life sized chicken suit!
-But I was like, "Wait, don't go in there! That's where the clowns live!"
-Your daddy must have been a baker. Cuz you've got a nice apron collection.

-Once I ate a smurf. It tasted like arctic hen.
-I just can't sleep ever since the monkey stole my parents
-One time I wandered into the produce section of the grocery store, and ended up in Narnia for 3 hours. I came back and realized, Mom was right! I shouldn't take candy from strangers!
-I saw a cat today, and realized I was really hungry for some tacos.
-And then I was like, "No, you can't take my baby!"
-My mom still tells me what to do. Sometimes she calls me and reminds me not to eat things out of the garbage.
-Last year, I had an affair with the couch. I haven't looked at pizza the same way since.

And there it is folks. The product of our very bored minds. Make of it what you will.