Adventures in the Work Force

I have an interesting job. And by interesting, I mean "a job so mindblowingly boring that we'd probably all stick our heads into a lethal looking machine if we didn't come up with ways of entertaining ourselves." So, not interesting at all, really. But I do have interesting coworkers, and therefore interesting stories.

We have a ten(ish) minute break halfway through work every morning. One day, we grabbed some extra wrapping plastic, taped around it a few times, and made a rough looking ball. We proceeded to spend the next ten minutes tossing it between us with increasingly complicated rules. We probably would have forgotten about it by the next day. However, shortly after returning to work, someone attempted to tape up a box of books, and pressed an innocent button on the tape machine. She discovered, to her alarm, that the tape machine did not produce the prescribed length of tape, but instead decided to just keep distributing tape...forever. The rest of us quickly noticed what was going on, and proceeded to press every button within reach in the desperate hope of stopping the tape. Nothing worked until someone finally pulled the plug on the machine. We ended up, therefore, with a length of tape that stretched across almost the entire room, probably about twenty five feet. Our boss was in the room, talking to someone, and conveniently not paying attention to us, so we did the only thing we could. We wrapped the tape around our new ball, quickly and quietly before anyone could notice. And we still have it to this day.

At any moment, one of us might be questioned, in detail, about our love life, or lack thereof. We can be questioned about other things too, and we are, but love life inquiries usually lead to the most interesting stories. Basically, we're desperate for something to talk about most of the time, so we're all fairly familiar with all of the details of each others lives. At any moment, one might also have a coil flung at them from across the room, and turn around to find a room full of completely innocent looking coworkers. It's also good form to check one's back for tape every couple of hours, because it's unlikely that anyone will ever tell you about it.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a competition to see who could give the most awkward hug. It began when someone voiced a disbelief that a hug could be awkward. She was quickly and decisively proven wrong. After competing amongst ourselves, we proceeded to turn our awkward hugs on other, less wary coworkers, who, when asked to report their feelings, indeed responded, "It was awkward."

On Wednesday, it was lots of little things. I was working on putting covers on books before they could be bound, and since I was producing them faster than anyone was taking them, things got a bit ridiculous. After filling every available surface in the room with stacks of books, I started to build a small igloo of books around myself, until I could only be seen from certain angles, and it became increasingly difficult to actually put covers on any books. Meanwhile, a friend of mine was attempting to lift a big pile of books on a palette lifter, which looks something like this:

She wasn't having any luck, and it wasn't until we each took a side, throwing our body weight into it and loudly singing "I've been working on the railroad," that we finally managed to lift it up. Finally, on this same day we put together a care package for a coworker who had recently left on a mission. Actual goods included slightly too old celery, and some pears. We did, however, write a funny note, include a water bottle full of little paper dots from the punching machine, and stuff the box with coils. I'm sure it'll be entertaining, if nothing else.

Some days, my work is weird. And some days, my work is really weird.