My family is weird. Ya know how Santa comes on Christmas? Well, in my family, Mother Goose comes on New Year's Eve and gives presents to children. I'm not sure if they have to be good or not. I'm also not sure about a bunch of other things. Like, Why doesn't Mother Goose come to everyone? Why New Year's Eve? How does she get in the house? Is she actually a goose, or does she just call herself that? And where do the famous nursery rhymes come in?
In order to find out, I asked a bunch of my family members about Mother Goose. Turns out, they all had different theories.
One theory is that Mother Goose is just that--a goose. 10 feet tall, in fact. She carries the gifts in her ginormous tail feathers. And as she flies off into the night, she cries, "HONK! Happy New Year! HONK!"
Theory Number Two: Mother Goose is not actually a goose. She's an old Grandma. Very similar to Mrs. Clause. She owns a goose. She rides it, in fact. Now, I've seen geese, and they're not big enough to ride. So, either this goose is inherently magic, or it eats those little pills like on Alice in Wonderland, that make it grow or shrink depending on which one it eats.
Who knows.
And, apparently, she only comes to some houses. Like, not even all our state, or our county, or even all of our city. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're the only house she comes to. Weird...
So, if you ever want to find out more about Santa Clause, read a book or watch a Christmas movie. There are none of those about Mother Goose, so good luck. Oh, and happy new year. Or something at the end of February. Honk.
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