Mother Goose: Innocent Nursery Rhyme Author, or Bankrupt Philanthropist?

My family is weird.  Ya know how Santa comes on Christmas?  Well, in my family, Mother Goose comes on New Year's Eve and gives presents to children.  I'm not sure if they have to be good or not.  I'm also not sure about a bunch of other things.  Like, Why doesn't Mother Goose come to everyone?  Why New Year's Eve?  How does she get in the house?  Is she actually a goose, or does she just call herself that?  And where do the famous nursery rhymes come in?

In order to find out, I asked a bunch of my family members about Mother Goose.  Turns out, they all had different theories.

One theory is that Mother Goose is just that--a goose.  10 feet tall, in fact.  She carries the gifts in her ginormous tail feathers.  And as she flies off into the night, she cries, "HONK!  Happy New Year!  HONK!"

Theory Number Two:  Mother Goose is not actually a goose. She's an old Grandma.  Very similar to Mrs. Clause.  She owns a goose.  She rides it, in fact.  Now, I've seen geese, and they're not big enough to ride.  So, either this goose is inherently magic, or it eats those little pills like on Alice in Wonderland, that make it grow or shrink depending on which one it eats.

Who knows.

And, apparently, she only comes to some houses.  Like, not even all our state, or our county, or even all of our city.  In fact, I'm pretty sure we're the only house she comes to.  Weird...

So, if you ever want to find out more about Santa Clause, read a book or watch a Christmas movie.  There are none of those about Mother Goose, so good luck.  Oh, and happy new year.  Or something at the end of February.  Honk.

BYU Addictive Substances

We take what we can get.  And we abuse it heavily.  At the moment, all of us have an incredibly unhealthy obsession with this song:

Skip to 1:59.  Trust me.

The effects are borderline inappropriate.  It's like Ecstasy, but you won't get kicked out of school for listening to it.  Musical Ecstasy.  Yes.

Join us...... It's fun..... You know you want to...... Live a little..... YOLO.

This week would probably have been more fun if I was drunk. Not that I drink. This title got bad fast.

On a regular basis I threaten to drop out of school to be a hobo and live in a box. I also threaten to move to Chile and join a mariachi band, but that's beside the point. This is a pretty good summary of my semester so far. However, I have recently learned that my current dilemmas are mostly irrelevant as its only a matter of time before dolphins take over the world. What, you hadn't heard about this? You thought 2012 was going to bring an earthquake, or something? How sadly behind of you. As Katie recently informed me, dolphins are alarmingly intelligent, and have been throwing us off the trail for years through such activities as rescuing drowning humans and performing for fish. They can also probably stand up on their tail. Octopi, of course, are also intelligent, but have shorter life spans. Katie does not feel as threatened by octopi.

On a completely unrelated subject, here is my picture of Sara:

P.S. I have just been informed that the word "smerf" must appear in this post. Done.